Overheard is a visual diary of the odd and often dark ramblings of friends + randoms. Recorded in my phone's notes and always anonymous.
WWW.DANIELDIGGLE.COM | @danieldiggle
"Is there anything more unifying than the shared arm and hand splash back of a busy mens urinal?"
MEN | WTF | 19:41
"Have you got chip throat?"
FOOD | WTF | 13:22
"What the fuck is that on your face? ...oh... that’s me.."
SEX | WTF | 22:00
O - "Hey! your kid just punched me in the vag!"
...
H - "Oh hey, it's ok, he does it all the time"
WTF | WOMEN | 22:17
"I'm gonna be a drug lords daughter in my next life so I can do a bit of that, fucking whats-his-name... Tony Montana!"
DRINK & DRUGS | WOMEN | 13:09
"She was getting wet hearing me offering her tea and crumpets, so I took her down an alleyway and fingered her"
SEX | MEN | 22:37
"I thought they took a dog's eyes out and held it over their own eyes?!"
ANIMALS | 23:48
"I probably got herpes..."
DRINK & DRUGS | 21:48
"My perineum is the only bit I shave, it's a trampoline for her tongue."
SEX | MEN | 19:57
"I wouldn't mind some but I'm worried as I'm going through an investment period..."
DRINK & DRUGS | 19:22
"Sometimes I really feel like cutting your head off"
WOMEN | LOVE | 23:24
"This is my first time holding a golf stick"
WTF | WOMEN | 21:59
"You're my glitterball and chain"
WOMEN | WTF | LOVE | 21:15
"id shoot you in the face"
MEN | WTF | BRO'S | 18:12
"Everyone has seen themselves poo! Apart from you!"
WOMEN | 1:58
"it's a sad moment when the 404 has become the last refuge of creativity"
LIFE | 13:13
"Be careful navigating these waters, for they are light at the surface but dark at the bottom... plus mermaids have fishy cunts"
SEX | MEN | 11:52
"I saw the candles and my vagina started to wet"
SEX | LOVE | 21:18
"if I squint really hard when I look at it...I kind of like it..."
WORK | 17:40
"where the fuck did kale come from?! "
FOOD | 22:35
"I've not seen a man without a hat for the last ten blocks"
MEN | LOCATION | 22:16
"when i say north, i mean i'll walk in front of you..."
LOVE | 00:34
O - "what are you gonna do with the rest of tonight?"
...
H - "Make some mistakes."
DRINK & DRUGS | LOCATION | 02:07
"what country is the south pole in??"
WOMEN | LOCATION | WTF | 22:27
"it's like getting to the gates of a theme park and saying yep, that looks cool, and then heading home"
EVEREST | WTF | 20:06
"I know you! I saw you on facebook, you're the cool guy"
MEN | WTF | 02:36
"maybe you can come up with something rad like the lightning from the vagina?"
WORK | WTF | 16:12
"you chuck me in the sea, I'll push you in the poo!"
LIFE | LOVE | WTF | 13:48
"my dad punched a hole in my bedroom wall when i peed in his eye"
LIFE | WTF | 23:43
"I offered the guy 3 grand and £500 for himself to keep the bar open. He said no so I called him a pussy"
MEN | DRINK & DRUGS | 00:02
"they can see the 'hungry eyes', thats a red light"
SEX | MEN | 21:02
"she's lactating at the moment... it's well nice"
WTF | MEN | 23:05
O - "what where their names?"
...
H - "option one and option two"
SEX | MEN | 23:58
"she's got that american dad jaw, it looks like a tray"
WOMEN | WTF | 2015 | 22:27
"do these guys only appear at night?!"
TV | WTF | 2015 | 00:59
"prawn cocktail pringles smell like vagina"
SEX | WTF | 2015 | 21:28
"I killed your olive tree!!"
LIFE | LOVE | WOMEN | 2015 | 20:14
"Wait, was it you that liked the idea of dogging?"WTF | SEX | 2015 | 16:56
"I wouldn't of employed you"
WORK | 2015 | 20:15
O - "can i tweak your nipples"
...
H - "no"
...
O - "do you have milk?"
...
H - "no, dont sqeeze it too much"
WTF | 2015 | 23:40
"I love your profile, I wish when I looked at you from the front you looked the same"
LOVE | 16:16
"Dude! gotta talc the sack in the summer"
MEN | 2015 | 16:56
"Arsehole by accident"
MEN | 2015 | 21:13
"to make ice cream, you have to cook it first, no?"
WOMEN | FOOD | 2015 | 20:18
"if you ever get me a pantone mug, I'll throw it at your face"
LOVE | WOMEN | 2015 | 16:26
"why do I need to select my gender to use the internet?"
WTF | 2015 | 13:21
O - "You been in a punchup?"
...
H - "No, I tried to bite a plantpot..."
MEN | WTF | DRINK & DRUGS | 2015 | 13:53
"I'm going to smash a mirror on your head so you are dead and then I can move on and find someone else"
WTF | LOVE | WOMEN | 2015 | 20:18
"Top Knot!"
WOMEN | 2015 | 00:55
"when you have a mouth, you eat yourself a bit all the time"
MEN | WTF | 2014 | 16:48
"first time i tried the traditional Cameroon male greeting, i nearly knocked myself out!"
RACE | MEN | 2014 | 22:28
"The only thing keeping planes in the air is Jesus!"
LIFE | WOMEN | WTF | 15:51
"I'm just having a cigarette to fix my ears"
MEN | WTF | HEALTH | 2014 | 23:22
"diggle, stop fucking wiggling all around!"
MUSIC | WTF | 2014 | 19:36
"I was too drunk to take my shoes off last night, so I cut them off"
DRINK & DRUGS | MEN | 2014 | 18:05
"like a tesco bag full of sick"
WOMEN | MEN | WTF | 2014 | 21:00
"by junior, do you mean shit?"
LOVE | 2014 | 16:32
"I'd stab you in the neck!"
LOVE | 2014 | 12:07
"wait a second... did I bring my beard!?!"
WOMEN | WTF | 2014 | 16:05
"lets beer"
DRINK & DRUGS | 2014 | 23:15
"I've got a phobia of cafes"
WOMEN | FOOD | LIFE 2014 | 20:34
"a girl stabbed me with a pencil and my mum went to her house with a hammer"
WOMEN | WTF | LONDON | LIFE | 2014 | 19:20
"I'm not going to cook for you, I'm just going to point at things you can eat"
FOOD | 2014 | 18:45
"so much wine, jesus would be jealous"
DRINK & DRUGS | 2014 | 20:53
"he's got those small clint eastwood eyes, looks like two small pieces of rice"
MEN | 2014 | 21:20
"tickling fish and fingering gills"
WTF | ANIMALS | 2014 | 23:27
"I woke up in croydon once, I was like, where the fuck am I, am I even in london?!"
LONDON | LIFE | DRINK & DRUGS | 2014 | 11:51
"my flat is decorated really ghetto, it's got peach walls"
LONDON | 2014 | 22:28
"on Tindr, what's your radius?"
SEX | 2014 | 22:12
"get on the fucking horse! even the dog is on the fucking horse!"
WTF | 2014 | 02:27
"I was a bit of a victim... I was in chess club"
LIFE | 2014 | 20:19
"Last night we were driving at top speed into a tent full of nukes"
WTF | SEX | 2014 | 10:46
"smell your finger, I had an onion bhaji last night!"
FOOD | WTF | 2014 | 12:40
"he's always moving ahead, he doesn't know where he is going but he's always in a hurry to get there"
ANIMALS | MEN | 2014 | 22:09
"Quick! the Nazi's are coming, get in the cupboard!"
WTF | 2014 | 16:05
"I will remove your face from your fucking skull"
MEN | LOVE | LONDON | 2014 | 22:35
"I'm not watching you, I'm just checking you out"
SEX | 2014 | 00:06
"The first joint I smoked was rolled with a post-it"
DRINK & DRUGS | MEN | 2014 | 23:45
"I was sick on my arm and then I was feeling sick again and then I was sick on my leg"
DRINK & DRUGS | 2014 | 22:20
"Are you one of those guys that has bigger balls than your dick?"
MEN | WTF | 2014 | 23:45
"for carnival this year, I really wanna go as grapes"
DRINK & DRUGS | MUSIC | WOMEN | 2014 | 22:09
"She stole my £250 sunglasses and a coconut from co-op"
LONDON | WTF | 2014 | 10:26
"I cycled into the canal"
WTF | WOMEN | 2014 | 19:20
"what, dumb as in d.u.m.e?"
WOMEN | WTF | 2014 | 17:49
"I used to live in a national park and a bear ate a woman... bears have right of way"
WTF | CANADA | 2014 | 22:40
"I slept on shelves"
WORK | MEN | 2014 | 22:57
"I've got some jam... but it's not my mums jam..."
WTF | MEN | 2014 | 22:52
"I thought people going through other peoples things was a normal white people thing"
RACE | 2014 | 14:11
"Ballers cut on retina"
DRINK & DRUGS | 2014 | 02:37
"I've got a Polish hairline. It just goes up"
MEN | 2014 | 19:22
"it's like forcing your foot through frost"
MEN | 2014 | 22:55
"stamp on him! it's the most vegan thing to do"
ANIMALS | WTF | 2014 | 23:15
"if you had a biker gang, youd be called 'Sad Boys'.. and the logo would be like a tear"
MEN | 2014 | 19:37
O - "Yeah..."
...
H - "...yeah"
DRINK & DRUGS | 2014 | 23:36
"spinning plates"
SEX | 2014 | 19:19
"doorth clothing...
...dorth opening"
LONDON | DRINK & DRUGS | 2014 | 00:56
"we're gonna get rendered 4k"
DRINK & DRUGS | MUSIC | 2014 | 22:58
"they look like 2 x 4"
WOMEN | 2014 | 21:27
"white people are worse than cylons"
RACE | 2014 | 23:59
"son, you went to school in germany, you should know how to arrange a fucking sattelite"
MEN | GERMANY | WTF | 2014 | 21:42
"a tit shelf, also known as a bra"
WOMEN | 2014 | 22:16
"you must know you never call an african woman a witch..."
LOVE | RACE | 2013 | 21:46
"any next white man, generic jim!"
RACE | LOVE | 2013 | 19:09
"I understand why people start wars but I dont understand why people make such movies..."
FILMS | MEN | 2013 | 15:53
"the trick for many of these things is just 'dont look down'"
SEX | MEN | 2013 | 22:28
"cee-lo greene looks like a midget scaled back up to normal size again"
MUSIC | WTF | 2013 | 14:35
"was like a masons handshake, or some choreographed dance!"
LOVE | MEN | WOMEN | 2013 | 23:44
"my girlfriend said my BO smells like pencil shavings"
MEN | WOMEN | WTF | 2013 | 21:10
"It looks like he's been scaled in photoshop without holding shift"
MEN | WTF | 2013 | 14:05
O - "what's the score?.."
...
H - "One all."
...
O - "To who?"
WOMEN | SPORT | 2012 | 18:55
"miscommunication with the pengaleng in the yellow dress"
SEX | 2012 | 03:38
"I'm an adult, I can spint out if I want to!"
DRINK & DRUGS | 2012 | 01:35
"I'll keep an eye out for the mushroom cloud rising over the Atlantic"
SEX | NEW YORK | LONDON | 2012 | 23:17
"Pink jeans, tight and some bear hide hanging like some muff rug between her legs"
FASHION | WOMEN | 2012 | 09:38
"When I look at you, you're black"
LOVE | RACE | 2012 | 21:52
"the mices were not pooing in my rice bag!"
FOOD | 2012 | 17:56
"can I get a little something for the weekend"
DRINK & DRUGS | 2012 | 21:34
"Jeffery!, bring the car around"
DRINK & DRUGS | WTF 2012 | 13:34
"fuck merreee wires is tue way to rabell, im n a pirate shop"
DRINK & DRUGS | 2012 | 05:21
"oh dear me, my willy bits are in a tangle"
SEX | MEN | 2012 | 13:46
"a ketamine piss"
DRINK & DRUGS | MUSIC | 2012 | 17:40
"...you know her shower gloves... yeah, those too"
WTF | 2012 | 13:47
"used a flannel to wipe his arse... doesn't know who's flannel, rinsed with hot water after use"
WTF | 2012 | 18:08
"a grown man felled by a single hotwing"
FOOD | 2012 | 18:55
"If I catch you I’m gonna break your fingers back"
LONDON | LIFE | 2011 | 18:43
"they take the top right, why never the top left?"
LOVE | WOMEN | 2011 | 12:09
"free beer and tea, just pay £45 pound..."
SEX | WTF | 2011 | 01:16
"the average smells like peach, the special smells like cinnamon"
SEX | WOMEN | 2011 | 12:14
"Fellatio Throttle"
SEX | WOMEN | 2011 | 20:30
"babybell?, yeah I used to eat the wax"
FOOD | WOMEN | 2011 | 11:30